The alternative Teletubbies song

(as sung in school playgrounds)

I hate Po,
Po hates me.
Tinky Winky shot Dipsy
With a great big bang
And a bullet in his head.
Don't tell Laa-Laa Dipsy's dead.
Laa-Laa cried
Then she died,
Po committed suicide,
Tinky Winky did the same,
Teletubbies are insane.