Short Stories

Over The Hill

by Patrick O'Connor



THE Boeing 767 was about 40 minutes out of Frankfurt where I was due to attend an architects' conference when we were told that the landing gear wasn't working.

Rover 25 1.6 SXi. 5dr Hatchback, 2004, blue, one extremely careful owner from new, ONLY 8,000 miles on the clock, yes that's correct, ONLY 8,000 miles on the clock, pristine condition, almost like brand new, for sale at the amazing, once-in-a-lifetime price of £1,200. Don't hang around, it won't be here long!!!!!

A young man went to apply for a managerial position in a big company. He passed the initial tests and panel interview, and then had to meet the director for the final interview.

The director discovered from his CV that the youth's academic achievements were excellent, so he asked, "Did you obtain any scholarships?"  The young man answered "no".

"Was it your father who paid for you to go to college?"

All that glitters...

by Patrick O'Connor


THE drive home was slow: the flat tyre made it seem to last a lifetime. Even my usual game of mimicking other drivers didn’t help.

A lone packet of vegetable lasagne stared back at me from the middle shelf of my otherwise bare freezer. I kicked off my shoes and tried to relax, but the mistakes I’d made earlier at work kept sneaking into my thoughts.

Once upon a time there lived a King and a Queen, who didn't differ much from all the other kings and queens who have lived since time began, except they had no children, and this made them very sad indeed.

Now it so happened that the King had to go and fight battles in a far country, and he was away for many long months. And lo and behold! While he was away the Queen at long last bore him a little son. As you may imagine she was fair delighted, and thought how pleased the King would be when he came home and found that his dearest wish had been fulfilled. And all the courtiers were fine and pleased too, and set about at once to arrange a grand festival for the naming of the little Prince. But the Queen said, "No! The child shall have no name till his father gives it to him. Till then we will call him 'Nix! Naught! Nothing!' because his father knows nothing about him!"