ROY Wood from Wizzard (actually Tharg) was gushing.

"I love you, I love you! Oh my darlings, you're so talented. I think I'm going to cry. How odd, I've never done that before. How stupendous."

The 'Stones' had won the talent contest by a mile.

"His Holiness, The Snoop Bopper was so impressed with your new work, especially your rendition of 'Premier League, Having a Laugh'. Is it going to be the new single?"

"Do we get to go home now?" asked Keith.

"Oh no dear boys, you have to enjoy your prize first," replied Tharg.

"Which is?" queried Keith.

"A world tour of Loog performing in all major cities - and, of course, there are the 12 moons and 16 off-world mining communities. I think you'll go down very well out there."

Keith and Charlie looked horrified.

"Oh come now, it will be fun and anyway Mick has already agreed," said Tharg.

Mick looked a bit sheepish. "Come on lads, it'll be a laugh and anyway Elvis was runner-up so e'll be coming on tour with us as our support act."

"Please, pretty please," begged Tharg. "We've allowed Mick to take his companion with him."

Keith and Charlie eyed their pal suspiciously.

"Mick feels he can't perform at his best without his personal assistant, the drone called Marianne. Despite its malfunction back on Earth it still has its uses. Indeed Marianne did sterling work a while back on a very special project on Mars," said Tharg.

Mick explained that when the tour was over they would be 'time warped' back home, whatever that meant.

"The Emperor says it will appear as if we've never been away and as he finished runner-up, Elvis can go back to Earth as well."