THARG left the trio alone for a while whilst he went off to "change his co-ordinates." When he returned, he looked like one of The Rubettes.

He explained that the Emperor was a massive fan of Earth music. When he was young he used to listen to his radio scanner under the bedclothes at night.

Tharg's brief was to scour Earth over many years and 'collect' performing artists to store on his spaceship before eventually returning to Loog for a talent show.

"We've collected Elvis Presley, Jimi Hendrix, Jim Morrison and many others and now, with our collection complete, we've just landed back on our planet."

The realisation that they were on an alien planet left the men wide-eyed.

"But those people are all dead," said Mick.

"Oh no, we appropriated them. Our replication programme wasn't as advanced then so people thought they had died. But now we usually leave active drones behind. No-one can tell the difference, " said Tharg.

"So some of those acts that appeared on Top of the Pops were really alien drones. Wow!" said Keith.

That would explain many things, said Mick.

"Yeah, The Stonk by Hale and Pace, Shadap Your Face by Joe Dolce, " said Keith.

"And almost certainly Chirpy, Chirpy Cheep Cheep by Middle of the Road youth," added Charlie.

Keith wanted to know who else was on the list. "Cliff Richard?"

"Oh dear no," exclaimed Tharg. "We did zoom in on him once at a place called Wimbledon. It was raining heavily and a crowd of people started singing with him. It was not what His Holiness, The Snoop Bopper had in mind."

"Robbie Williams? " asked Keith.

Tharg said they returned him to Earth very quickly.

"Why?" asked Mick.

"He frightened us," said Tharg, who then added:"But Ozzy Osbourne had been a big success."

"Ozzy? Is he here?" said Keith.

"Ozzy is employed as what you earthlings call a lifestyle guru for His Holiness, The Snoop Bopper. You may or may not get to see him, it depends, but you will certainly recognised the impact he has had on the Emperor, "said Tharg.

Mick then asked: "Okay Tharg what happens now?"

"I really don't know. His Holiness, The Snoop Bopper, was really looking forward to hearing Jumpin' Jack Flash."

"Well, he ain't going to get that from us youth," said Charlie.

Mick was looking pensive and suddenly said: "Hold on Charlie, I've got an idea.