AFTER Keith returned from the loo, smelling a lot sweeter than when he went in, Mick informed him that a woman at the bar had been giving him the eye.

"The classy looking one with the long blonde hair. Just look at her, she's so cool. How many Mansfield women do you see puffing away with a cigarette holder?"

"Don't be daft," said Keith.

Charlie told Mick he had no chance. "She's way out of your league youth, must be a model or summat and probably a Chelsea season ticket holder."

The woman continued to stare directly at Mick with a sultry, smouldering gaze. Mick couldn't believe his luck. Was this the one? She was certainly stunning and there was an air of danger about her.

He felt it was now or never, burped, wiped his face, stood up and, before striding over to the woman, said: "Wish me luck lads."

Five minutes later he returned and could barely get his words out.

"Get out of it!" said Keith.

"No, it's true. She wants all three of us to go with her to some do. Said we sound like good company. Said it would be out of this world," said Mick breathlessly.

"Is she kinky or what? You know, into threesomes, God, no foursomes. I ain't sharing no bird with you Mick," said Keith.

Charlie nodded before adding: "And I ain't doing it with anybody watching youth."

Mick said that the only kinky sex in Mansfield was "When they let you do it BEFORE you buy them chips."

"So where is she now?" asked Keith.

Mick said that they were to meet her outside in the back yard.

"What's her name youth," asked Charlie.

"Marianne," replied Mick as they trooped through the door.