News Round Up

)

by Patrick O'Connor

 

RESIDENTS of Macmillan Close in Hereford came under siege – from starlings.

The Daily Star reports that thousands of the birds blitzed the neighbourhood with their droppings before roosting in nearby trees.

One resident, Steve Payne, said: “The street and pavements are covered in bird muck, which is a safety hazard if people slip on it. You can’t put washing out and we are having to clean our cars every day.”

Neighbour Walter Bloomfield added: “When you go outside you have to wear a hat or a hood.”

A county cricket club has taken possession of cannabis lamps confiscated from drug dealers to help keep weeds off the pitch.

Officials at Warwickshire's Edgbaston ground in Birmingham hope that the extra light and heat will also give the wicket more “pace and bounce.”

But, says the Daily Mirror, they have had to increase security at the stadium in case drug dealers try and steal the lamps back!

A Daily Express story about a puppy being trapped in a car engine fortunately had a happy ending.

Betty Boop, a Jack Russell, had escaped from her garden in Salford, Manchester before somehow working her way into neighbour Gavin Juliette's Audi car, climbing onto a plastic shelf in the engine and becoming stuck between the pipework.

And it wasn't until Mr Juliette had completed a 12 mile round trip to pick up his mother-in-law that he heard barking.

He said: “All we could hear when we got back was this yapping. We thought it was coming from the garden but then I put my ear to the bonnet. I opened it and the little fella was just there glaring back at me, I couldn’t believe it. I still don’t get how it survived, with the heat in there and the fan spinning.”

Newly invented slang words are continually entering daily use and the Mirror reports that experts say there are now 57 words for a remote control, such as blabber, zapper, melly and dawicki.

As far as this next story goes, I would like to point out that it definitely doesn't apply to me – honestly.

The Daily Star puts the spotlight on a survey conducted by bathroom retailer Betta Living which claims that British men are the vainest of them all, spending 335 days of their life staring at the mirror on the wall.

The survey calls them 'Reflectors' because they spend so long staring at themselves and more than half (52%) of males admit that they're getting vainer than ever before.

A Betta Living spokesman said: “Society no longer believes it strange for men to have their own beauty regime.”

Yuk! According to the Daily Mail, a chip shop boss in Preston, Lancashire has created the world's largest Ferrero Rocher caked in batter.

John Clarkson made the 11lbs version of the hazelnut sweet made famous in the 'ambassador's party' TV advert, using his own recipe. It is 10 times the usual size of a Ferrero Rocher and comes complete with a giant paper Ferrero Rocher tray.

He came up with the idea after an initial batch of normal-sized Ferrero Rochers dipped in batter proved to be a surprise hit with customers.

Congratulations to 13 year old Jamie Edwards who, says the Daily Telegraph, has become the youngest person in the world to build a nuclear fusion reactor.

Jamie, from Penwortham in Lancashire, started building the reactor in October in an underused science laboratory at his school and five months later has successfully made two atoms smash together to create helium – a nuclear fusion.

“It is quite an achievement. It's magnificent really. I can't quite believe it – even though all my friends think I am mad,” he said.

Priory Academy head teacher Jim Hourigan commented: “I was a bit stunned and I have to say a little nervous when Jamie suggested this but he reassured me he wouldn't blow the school up.”

Reference lists:

The Express(www.express.co.uk)

Daily Mail (www.dailymail.co.uk)

Daily Mirror (www.mirror.co.uk)

Daily Star (www.daily star.co.uk)

Daily Telegraph (www.telegraph co.uk)