IF you ever find that following your favourite football team becomes too depressing or even boring, then you could try and go ‘virtual’.  According to a report in The Sun Newspaper, the Manchester City defender Joleon Lescott try to get one over on Manchester United striker Wayne Rooney after Rooney’s spectacular goal won the Manchester derby.

 

 

Apparently only hours after the ‘real’ game, the two England internationals went head-to-head again but this time at FIFA 2011 on the Xbox.  Lescott told The Sun:  “I just smiled at Wayne after the game but spoke to him later that evening through the Xbox. “  However once again there wasn’t a happy ending for Lescott.  “I played FIFA with him. I'm all right but he's better.  And, although he beat me, I'm almost there now - I think I can almost take him!”

The world of the Internet has helped a non-league player become a worldwide sensation.  The Ebbsfleet goalkeeper Preston Edwards has become a celebrity after being sent off after only TEN seconds in the Blue Square Bet South match against Farnborough.  Footage of his dismissal has attracted over 450,000 hits on YouTube.

“I'd like to be known for better, different reasons, but it's happened,” Edwards told BBC Radio Kent.  "I've got to take it on the chin. At least I've got something in history."

You couldn’t make it up…

There was a great fanfare when Wembley was selected to host this season’s Champions League final but the organisers have really taken the biscuit with their ticket pricing announcement this week.  The cheapest seat on general sale for the May 28 game will cost £176! For fans of the clubs involved in the final the cheapest tickets will be around £80 but for everyone else, prices not including administration fees, start at £150 for category three tickets rising to £225 and £300 for the best seating in categories two and one respectively, with wheelchair entry costing £80.

UEFA's director of competitions, Giorgio Marchetti, is quoted as saying: “We do not want to squeeze every single penny out of the market.”

Yeah, right.

The FA Cup action at the weekend produced three fascinating images. Firstly there was the coming together of Chelsea’s Ashley Cole and Everton’s Johnny Heitinga during the penalty shoot-out to decide the winner of their fourth round replay at Stamford Bridge.

After already scored his spot-kick, Heitinga somehow managed to barge his shoulder into Cole as the Chelsea man walked past him to take his turn. Angry glances were exchanged between the two but Cole’s concentration had been disturbed and he blazed his effort over the bar.

It wasn’t the only miss for Chelsea but it was a crucial one as Everton captain Phil Neville then netted with the following effort to clinch the tie 4-3 on penalties.

Chelsea out of the FA Cup, 12 points behind the leaders in the Premier League and a £50million gap in their bank balance after acquiring what could be a dud striker – oh well, that’s what bags of money gets you.

The look of joy on the faces of players and fans alike when Leyton Orient’s Jonathan Tehoue grabbed a last minute equaliser in the fifth round game at home to Arsenal to give the cash-strapped League One side the massive financial boost of a replay at  the Emirates is what the FA Cup is all about.

The final image had nothing to do with the glory of this world-famous competition, it just summed up the malaise currently seeping its way through football in the UK.  It was a momentary TV shot of the Manchester City substitutes’ bench during their fourth replay against Notts County at Eastlands.  There they were, this pampered bunch of egos, sat with the cash registers of their obscene pay packets no doubt ringing in their ears, clutching their HOT WATER BOTTLES.

Ah, poor things…

 

!Note - if something "takes the biscuit" it's particularly bad, or objectionable.  More food idioms here.