On New Year's Eve, David was in no shape to drive, so he sensibly left his car in the car park and walked home. As he was wobbling along, he was stopped by a policeman. 'What are you doing out here at four o'clock in the morning?' asked the police constable.
'I'm on my way to a lecture,' David answered.
'And who on earth, in their right mind, is going to give a lecture at this time on New Year's Eve?' enquired the constable sarcastically.
'My wife,' slurred David grimly