I hope you don’t mind me writing to you after all this time. I know you were upset when I left but at the time I thought it was for the best.
I had to make a decision as to whether you and I were right for each other and I felt that things were always too dramatic, and it got to the stage that it frightened me.
I need you to know that I have never forgotten you, how could I, but now I have decided to get in touch again and I’m sure you’re asking why? I met this man called Rupert and we have been going out for 18 months and he has asked me to marry him.
He is a marvellous man, kind and generous, loving and very attentive and I have said yes. We are due to get married next week – it’s a grand wedding, marquee on the lawn, posh hotel reception, the lot. Costing a fortune but mum and dad don’t mind, bless them.
But for some unknown reason for the last few weeks all I have been thinking about is you. I keep seeing your face and my mind is full of memories of our time together. They were exciting times and I realize now that I miss that excitement, I miss you.
Rupert is very kind and he is a very gentle lover but – and I realise this is a shameful thing to say –there’s something missing. I want, I need, that frenzy I had with you. I don’t think I can settle for the safe option, the one that I know will sooner or later become a chore just like washing the dishes.
If all this makes you think I’m a callous, spoilt bitch, then please throw this letter away and banish me from your thoughts forever.
But just one word from you my love and I will call off the wedding and come to you.
Your darling Suzanne
“I never…she never….” said Jack.
“She obviously changed her mind and never posted it. They got married seven days later.”
“Dad never spoke to me after reading the letter. He left immediately afterwards.”
Maggie’s face flushed and her lips began to tremble.
“He hung himself the next day.”
Jack held the letter in his hand and read it again and again. Maggie sat watching him, never saying a word, her eyes searching for some emotional response from him.
Eventually he leant across, pecked her gently on the cheek and handed back the letter.
“I’ve got to go, my girlfriend will be waiting up for me.”
With that, he walked out of the room leaving Maggie sitting on the floor surrounded by the family albums and holding the letter.
© Patrick O’Connor 2010