English Jokes

The best English jokes for your amusement and delight.

With dictionary look up - double click on any word to see its definition.

The German Child

An English couple adopt a child from Germany, however, this should not be a problem. There is nothing to worry about as it's a healthy baby boy.

As the child grows older, he shows a preference for dressing in lederhosen and has a pudding bowl haircut, but there is nothing to worry about as all his basic functions develop normally. He can walk, eat, sleep, read and so on, but for some reason the German child never, ever speaks.


Read more: English Joke of the Month

Best Day Ever

Whilst sitting down for breakfast a woman says to her husband, "I bet you don't know what day it is today."

The husband replies, "Of course I do darling.  How could I ever forget?"

The husband leaves for work and later that morning a dozen red roses are delivered.  In the afternoon a huge box of chocolates arrive at the door followed by a beautiful evening dress.  When he arrives back home the husband gives his wife a beautiful pearl necklace.

His wife throws her arms around him and gives him a huge kiss, exclaiming, "I've never had such a wonderful Halloween in my whole life!"

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