A wife asked her husband, "Can you mow the lawn?"
The husband replied, "What do you think I am, a gardener?"
"Well then", she said, "Can you change the light bulb in the kitchen?"
"What do you think I am," he replied, "an electrician?"
Later she asked him, "Can you fix the door handle?"
Naturally, the husband said, "What do you think I am, a carpenter?"
Despairingly she asked him, "Can you mend the dripping tap in the bathroom?"
And you guessed it, the husband replied, "What do you think I am, a plumber?"
The next day the husband came home from work to find everything had been fixed. The grass had been cut, the door handle fixed and the tap wasn't dripping any more.
Astounded, he asked, "Who fixed everything?"
The wife told him, "Our neighbour fixed it all, but he gave me two options. I had to give him a burger or I had to kiss him."
Shocked, the husband said, "I hope you made him a burger."
And the wife coyly replied, "What do you think I am, McDonald's?"